vexation
by Scantthunder272
Summary: When you are asked if Death is the end, anyone's answer should be obvious. "Yes." She would simply smile and say she's here, though. Because for her, Death was only the next adventure. (Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe she's been bleeding and crying all this time, but that's for another time.) [SI as Nohara Rin.]
1. i how chaotic

**i. how chaotic.**

She is not a good person.

She knows this. She knows this all too well. She knew it as she committed so many sins and laughed in the face of others.

The thing is, Emmy Lee isn't a good person.

Nohara Rin is.

Nohara Rin is kind and caring. She's the type of person to feed starving puppies on the street and cheer with all her heart from the sidelines. She's the type of person to respectfully bow her head when she uncharacteristically breaks a rule and always look for a peaceful way out.

Emmy Lee is brash and manic.

Emmy Lee is the type of person to spit at her higher upper's feet to spite them and poison their tea when they start to bore her. She's the type of person to slide crack and God knows what else under a cop's nose, all the while smiling prettily. She's the type to waste her money on the dumbest of the dumb, yet effortlessly earn it back the next day. Legal or not is up for debate.

Emmy Lee and Nohara Rin are very different. They could never be the same.

Why doesn't anyone get that?

Emmy Lee could never move like Nohara Rin. She could never talk or think like her. Even how they eat is different! How they breathe! Nohara Rin and Emmy Lee are so drastically different, it's like comparing the sun and the moon. One is warm and happy, the other is feral and dark.

It's chaotic. Utterly, disastrously, chaotic how two souls, so different, end up likes this.

How to souls end up together.

As one.

Until they die.

Horribly, terribly, chaotic.

* * *

 **A/N- welp, that's that. This is my first story of ...ever, so it's pretty choppy. And crappy. And just generally shit. Ugh. Anyways, this is a bit of a prologue, but I hoped you liked it anyway. Scant out.**


	2. ii how she is dead

p id="docs-internal-guid-e1db1d3b-7fff-c859-7cff-0891bf71ada4" dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"strongii. how she is dead. /strong/p  
p dir="ltr" Emmy Lee is not dumb./p  
p dir="ltr" Emmy Lee is, however, dead. Six feet under, kicked the pail, soul missing, dead./p  
p dir="ltr" Emmy Lee is unsure how to feel./p  
p dir="ltr" She chooses to feel interested./p  
p dir="ltr" It stems from her first discovery, she was indeed dead, yet alive. She remembered dying, yet she was definitely alive at the moment. She was alive and kicking, quite literally seeing as two unknown hands were attempting to undress her. Or dress her, her mind is so muddled these days it's hard to tell./p  
p dir="ltr" In other words, Emmy Lee has been reduced to a helpless infant./p  
p dir="ltr" No, she doesn't know how, why, or when. Or what, actually. What made this happen. Or who? She mentally adds the word to her ever growing list of questions./p  
p dir="ltr" When Emmy Lee first made the great discovery, she didn't choose what to feel. She broke years of carefully laid out rules and screamed. She screamed until she was hoarse and pitches away from permanent damage. She screams as unknown faces and people grab at her, trying to be comforting./p  
p dir="ltr" Emmy Lee had been scared./p  
p dir="ltr" Her only consolation is she thinks she broke someone's finger./p  
p dir="ltr" She felt so petty./p  
p dir="ltr" And, in all honesty, you can't blame her. Going from an overlord (No, she doesn't have an ego… at least she thinks she doesn't) to a newborn pissing in her diaper is rather traumatizing. In fact, she thinks she handled the situation rather well. Her other option was to break her vocal chords and fling herself of the changing table, but she didn't. Or rather, couldn't./p  
p dir="ltr" The only companion she has is her own mind, because the cloud covers everything else. Emmy Lee blames the cloud for her uncoordinated limbs and thick tongue. The cloud made her literally a baby. Not just in a baby's body, she was practically is a viewer in the body with the occasional moment of control./p  
p dir="ltr" Emmy Lee is no longer interested, now she is disgusted. /p  
p dir="ltr" She is disgusted by her weakness, her vulnerability, everything about this cursed body. She is disgusted by the shit that fills her diapers and the drool that falls down her mouth. She is disgusted by the way everything blurs inconveniently and her once muscled arms are so flimsy and soft./p  
p dir="ltr" Basically, Emmy Lee has no clue how to feel. Again. All that progress down the drain… /p  
p dir="ltr" There is a wretched cooing noise and a person that vaguely looks like a human cups her cheeks. Emmy Lee mentally sneers at how vulnerable this raisin-human crossbreed is being and quietly lists all the ways she could murder the insufferable thing as her baby-body giggles spit and spits out the gunk known as baby food./p  
p dir="ltr" After few more minutes of baby self-loathing, the humanoid form is gone and Emmy Lee snatches control from whatever entity thinks it's amusing to make her watch as her own body shovels puke's new rival into her mouth./p  
p dir="ltr" She clenches her hand and whistles as a quick maintenance test and begins the taxing task of journeying to the far side of the room and attempting to leave the room. The room where she's locked inside for almost three years. (It has actually been three hours, but when you've died, been stuffed in a different body, only able to control your body part of the time, and horribly bored, you're sense of time wilts.)/p  
p dir="ltr" She grapples with the bottom of the door for a moment before forcibly ripping at it, feeling shreds of wood fall through her now bloody and sore hands./p  
p dir="ltr" emBlock left, kick right, he wants you. He'll leave you broken and take them. He'll take them, he'll takethem, he'lltakethemhe'lltakethemstronghe'llkillthem-/strong/em/p  
p dir="ltr"There is white, and it looks suspiciously like the glint of a blade. /p  
p dir="ltr"She comes to with bandaged hands, a sore throat, and tear-stained face. Emmy Lee laughs quietly. She giggles and anyone would think it's a child being a child, but it's not. It's a grown woman named Emmy Lee who can't accept this world and is covered in hungry denial./p  
p dir="ltr" For what she thinks is the first time, she lets the cloud obscure everything./p  
p dir="ltr" /p  
p dir="ltr"strongA/N- and that's a wrap! I'm going to keep this short, so maybe people will read this. If this chapter seems a little crazy and all over the place, that's to be expected. In fact, the next few chapters might be hard to follow. Our good ol' protag is in a lot of denial, and her mind isn't very developed. Nor is her body. Anyways, thanks for reading, Scant out! /strong/p 


	3. iii how she discovered Nohara Rin

**iii. how she is dead**

Emmy Lee learns who the owner of the body is.

Her name is Nohara Rin.

Nohara Rin has shiny brown hair slowly crawling from her small head. She has big brown eyes that shine when she tilts her head. She has pale skin that can be compared to the moon. She has special purple marking creeping up her chubby cheeks.

It's horrible.

Emmy Lee is disgusted by what the mirror shows her. She howls and throws herself at it, cracks webbing from her attack and filling the glass before it all collapses. The entity- no, Rin, fights for control of the body. She pushes to wail and scream and cry. She wants to curl into a ball in her mother's lap. Like a proper baby. Like a fucking baby.

Emmy Lee beats back Nohara Rin. She rears her foot and kicks until the fight is nothing but a small throb in the back of her head as Rin whimpers.

When the blob (it's a person. It's a mother. It's Kaa~san. Rin's Kaa~san.) rushes over, Emmy Lee bites and scratches because she doesn't want this stranger. She wants her own mother would beat her with her wooden ladle before hugging her and whispering in Spanish.

Emmy Lee wants her own body.

She wants long curls that were dyed a brilliant blue. She wants almond shaped eyes that reflect a great abyss of black. She wants sun-kissed skin and smooth cheeks.

Rin cries and struggles to block the memories of _mi familias_ and breakdowns with screaming and wishing.

Emmy Lee doesn't care. She embraces the memories she once willingly blocked off.

She has fought men with guns and she has injured until the body isn't identifiable. She has snuck through buildings with fancy gold trimmings and has jumped out windows. She can survive her own mind.

Logically she could survive. It wasn't physical, it couldn't run her through or anything of the sort.

But it could make her feel like she was being run through, over and ov _er andoverandoverandover-_

She slowly put up a dam in her mind to stop the gushing river of thoughts and tears. She picked up Nohara Rin and felt as she wailed and clutched the- Kaa~san's shirt.

She needed to think.

 **A/N- huh. this chapter turned out... like trash. nice. And yes, for no one who was wondering, Emmy Lee is Spanish, which really doesn't make sense considering her last name, but ehhh. it was originally a placeholder that just kind of stuck, so I left it as it is. well, that's all. Scant out.**


End file.
